


Promises, Broken

by JD_Steiner



Category: The World's End (2013)
Genre: Addiction, Fear, Rehab, Sobriety, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-05 01:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3100217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JD_Steiner/pseuds/JD_Steiner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glen spoke softly "Gary, when you came here and signed yourself in, you made a promise, do you remember what that promise was?"<br/>Gary didn't say anything.<br/>"You promised to get help for your addictions, to get clean and sober and stay that way. When you signed yourself in you sealed that promise. Last night, you broke it. What do you have to say for yourself?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  


 

The front door opened, Lisa looked up from her post at the front desk. It had already been a long night, quiet, as all the residents were already in bed. Funny she thought to herself as the cool after-rain breeze blew in we aren't expecting a new intake. Usually someone would call ahead and let them know so that they could make sure that they had a bed available and a room ready, especially at this hour.

She sighed when she seen Gary being pushed through the door dressed in gray jeans adorned with his favorite black belt and a white long sleeve shirt with a black spot pattern, the top two buttons undone partially exposing his chest. “Ow! Watch it!” he snapped rudely at the Sergeant as he was escorted over to Lisa's desk.

“You stay put.” Sgt. Angel warned him, placing him against the wall across from the desk facing them. He then turned to Lisa who glanced at Gary sighing as she put down the book she was reading.  
“Did you find anything on him that we should know about?” she whispered quietly.  
“Yes, a few grams of marijuana, but not enough to really charge him with anything.”  
“Where did you find him Sgt. Angel? Lights out was hours ago, he should have been in bed.”  
Sgt. Angel glanced at Gary again “In the Trusty Servant.”

Lisa got up from her desk and walked over to Gary “What were you doing in the pub, Gary?”  
Gary just shook his head, not answering so the law answered for him.

“I went in to use the toilet and seen Mr. King here at the bar stood next to a man known as Trevor Green, perhaps you've heard of him?”  
Lisa shook her head.  
“Also known as The Reverend Green, a known drug dealer. Lucky for me he didn't see me come in, so once I finished in the toilet I came out and approached him.”

Lisa could smell the alcohol “How many beers have you had tonight Gary?”  
Gary kind of smiled weakly, drunkenly “Just a few beers” he responded, slurring his speech slightly.  
“What about this 'reverend green?' Lisa inquired.  
Gary got defensive 'So what? I'm a criminal for trying to catch up with an old friend?”  
Lisa looked at Gary, unimpressed and could clearly tell that he was lying, it was something that addicts did in order to get their way, to get their fix. “He's a known drug dealer, Gary. Were you going to buy drugs tonight?”  
She looked at him, waiting for a response which never came instead he just stared at the floor.  
'Be honest with me...Gary..”  
Gary sighs shifting his weight, reluctant “Ok, I was gunna buy some drugs, that is until Sergeant noseyarse here couldn't mind his own business!”  
Sgt. Angel interjected “you just like coming up with nicknames for me, don't you?”  
Gary gave a satisfied grin, knowing he had annoyed the law-man “Yeah. I do, actually.”  
Lisa had to stifle an annoyed laugh “Ok, I've heard enough for tonight, go to bed, Gary.”  
Now she turned to Angel “Do you mind?”  
“Not at all!” he said all too cheerily as he grabbed the collar of Gary's shirt and started to perp walk him down the hall, a slurred scowl of “Oww no so rough sarge!” could be heard and Angel held on to the handcuffs a little tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

The door to the room creaked open, light spilling in from the hallway but it was the familiar voice that woke him.  
"Ow! Not So Rough Sarge!"   
Allan sat up in the single bed, rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles willing away the haze of sleep that still lingered there.  
"Gary?" Allan looked at the empty single bed and it's rumpled sheets then over to his roomate as Sgt. Angel removed the handcuffs giving Gary another warning "Don't let me catch you again, you hear me? "  
Gary was grinning as he turned to the Seargant "Yes, sir!" giving him a little drunken salute as Angel moved back out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
By this time, Allan had moved and was now sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed only in lounge pants he shivered against the cold of the room that they shared. He watched Gary now who took a few steps toward his bed loosing his balance and stumbling cracking his knee off of the bedframe.  
"Fuuucckk!" he swore under his breath as he made his way over to sit on the edge of the bed.   
"Gary....you...you're drunk.." Allan paused a moment, letting it sink in "You snuck out didn't you?" looking over at Gary who was rubbing his aching knee, not sure of what to say next so there was a silence between them.  
"So..."  
Gary looked over at him "So..what?" asking in return, slurring his words again, but they were meant to sound more challenging.   
"What did Lisa have to say about this?"  
Gary shrugged "I dunno, she was talkin' to seargant noseyarse but I couldn't hear what they were saying." he paused to think for a moment "Then Lisa told me to go to bed!"  
"Did you see your girlfriend?"  
"Yeah."  
"Did ya.."  
"Oh yea, you better believe it mate!" Gary gave Allan that lopsided grin as he got up off of his bed, rubbing at his knee before reaching to straighten the bedclothes as best he drunkenly could. Unbuttoning his shirt Gary let it fall to the floor, picking up the lounge pants he had changed out of earlier. Removing the jeans he was wearing he slipped them on, a cold permeating through them from being on the cement floor. Shivering he crawled into bed pulling the blankets up. His head still swimming and fuzzy with alcohol he willed the warmth of the blankets to come along with some much needed sleep. Gary didn't say anything to Allan as they both crawled back into bed, but he felt that tomorrow was going to be a long day.

The alarm on the bedside table buzzed loudly waking him. Groping blindly he realized his head was still pounding and the alarm clock wasn't helping. Finally finding the snooze button he gave it a smack, pulling the blankets up over his head. Just another hour or so, just long enough to sleep this off...  
Gary could hear Allan getting up, moving around the room until finally the door opened and he was gone. Probably to breakfast as was the normal routine. His stomach felt sick at the thought of food and he turned over, head spinning he clamped his aching eyes shut and willed it to go away.  
About ten minutes later, the alarm was buzzing again. With a groan he reached an arm out from under the blankets just as the door to the room opened.  
"Gary?" came Lisa's voice from the doorway.  
"Go away!"   
"Get up, Gary, I want you in the meeting room in five minutes."  
"No"  
"Now, Gary!" She closed the door hurridly behind her and could be heard walking quickly back down the hall. 

Gary pushed back the blankets and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, his knee still aching he rubbed it. The light coming in from the window stung his eyes and he rubbed at them before opening the small dresser to grab a clean t-shirt. Pulling it on he got up and crossing the room opened the door heading out into the hallway. 

 

By the time he got to the meeting room she was there waiting for him. Ushering him inside, she closed the door. Gary stopped and looked around at the faces that stared back at him from their places seated around the large table. Among them were Glen, the addictions councilor who did the assessment on him at intake, Eve, assistant to Lisa who he knew handled files for all the residents. She held a file in her hand now, he presumed it was his. His mum, Gail, who gave him a disappointed look as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue produced from her purse and surprisingly, Andy Knightly who just sat there, arms folded shaking his head.  
"Allright, come in Gary, have a seat." Lisa instructed.   
Gary slowly walked into the room but didn't sit, all eyes were on him but he would rather just stare at the floor.  
"Sit down, Gary." Lisa pulled out a chair for him next to his mum, reluctantly he sat.  
Lisa took her place at the head of the table, nodding to Glen.  
Glen nodded back at Lisa before beginning "Gary, you probably know why you've been bought into this meeting this morning, do you not?"  
Gary let out a disinterested sniffle, staring blankly at the table top.  
Glen spoke softly "Gary, when you came here and signed yourself in you made a promise, do you remember what that promise was?"  
Silence  
"Gary.." Glen prompted  
Gary could feel the eyes on him but he didn't say anything.   
"You promised to get help for your addictions, to get clean and sober and stay that way. When you signed yourself in you sealed that promise. Last night you broke it, what do you have to say for yourself?"  
Gary shrugged, still staring at the table.  
"You seemed to be doing so well, or were you just biding your time, waiting for your chance?"  
Gary's mum let out a sob.  
Andy spoke up now "We all want you to get help, Gary." He said, motioning around the table. "But with your actions last night, it was made pretty clear....you don't want help, you never did... Am I right, Gary?"  
"Nah." Gary glanced at Andy, then guiltily back at the table.  
"Mate, we are all trying to help you, you know I'm right...Gary?  
Gary stood up, pushing back the chair and made for the door.   
"Don't walk away; Gary. " Lisa said, he stopped in his tracks "The people sitting around this table all care about you, or else you wouldn't be here."   
'Yeah" came the chorus from around the table, along with sniffles.  
Gary didn't even look back as he opened the door. Exiting the room, he could hear Andy behind him pushing his chair as he stood up, yelling "You can't get out of this, Gary, get your butt back here!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan on continuing this, but Phoenix encouraged me, Thanks!
> 
> I've also had some time to think because I've been sick, I've realized I can have some fun with this.


	3. Chapter 3

Gary could hear footsteps behind him and Andy's voice shouting at him  
"Gary! Gary Stop!" but he keeps walking.  
At the middle of the open space between the kitchen and living room area, Andy catches up to Gary, placing a hand on his shoulder spins him around.  
"What the Fuck, Gary?"  
Gary gives Andy a hard look "Just leave me alone, Andy!" he snaps, brushing Andy's hand away, really wishing that he could have a drink right about now. One thing he would definitely have to do once he got out of this place. No use, Andy follows him as he continues down the hallway.  
"No Gary, I am not leaving you, I can't you know that. " Gary starts to protest but Andy cuts him off.  
"Neither is anyone else that was in that room do you hear me?"  
Gary pushes open a door at the end of the hallway to the room he shares with Allan. Lucky for Allen, he isn't there or he would have probably gotten a look and a snide remark from Gary too when questioned. Gary grabs an overnight bag from under the bed and is hurridly shoving clothes into it not caring if they are neat.  
"What are you doing?" Andy watched Gary for a moment "Gary?"  
When he doesn't recieve an answer he crosses the room, grabbing Gary's arm "Where are you going?"  
Gary looked over at Andy, tears stinging his eyes "Back to London."  
"No mate, please..." Andy pleaded but Gary had his mind made up.  
"Leave me alone, Andy." Gary pushed past him now, slinging the bag over his shoulder and walks back down the hallway to the front of the facility. Everyone else from the meeting is standing at the front desk.  
Andy follows Gary back to the front, struggling to find the words to say that will maybe get to him. But it's useless, Gary's always been like this, there's no arguing with him. Andy just stops, glancing over at the others that had been at the meeting and sighs.

The other residents disrupted from their daily duties and routine are wondering what the commotion is. Everyone has stopped what they were doing and watch as Gary walks out to the front door. Pushing it open he walks out without even as much as a glance back; stopping to put on his aviators against the early morning sun glaring down on Newton Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Phoenix for the encouragement and little push to continue this. After thinking about it and going on a hiatus I am finally back to writing again.


	4. Chapter 4

Lisa stepped up beside Andy and laid a hand gently on his shoulder, shaking her head as she stared at the front doors. The tension was hanging in the room, everyone silent no one moved all shocked by what had just happened.  
The ringing of Andy's mobile phone broke the silence, looking at it and seeing it was his wife he answered.  
"Hi honey...yeah, it looks like I won't be coming home tonight." He pauses for a second "Gary's run off, I...I can't leave him, ok listen I will be home as soon as I can, O.K.? Love you to." He hangs up the phone, slipping it back in his pocket with a sigh.  
"Don't worry Lisa, we'll find him."  
Lisa nods "I'll call the police, file a report." She left the group and went into her office, closing the door behind her.  
"What the fuck are you up to, Gary?" Andy muttered to himself.

 

Sgt. Angel and Danny walked in through the front doors and over to greet Lisa and Andy, the Sergeant already had his notepad out and at the ready.  
"Helllo Danny." Andy greeted the Constable.  
"'Ello Andy, long time no see, how's the job going? Keeping busy?"  
Andy shrugged "Yeah, long hours, depends on the case really."  
Sgt. Angel interjected "Wait, you two know each other?" he glanced from one to the other.  
"Yeah, cousins." Andy answered him. "Aunt n Uncle moved to Sandford when I was really young.  
Sgt. Angel nodded. "You're Andy, right?"  
Andy nodded "Yeah."  
"Lisa told me that you're close to Gary, I'd like to know how?"  
"Well, we both grew up here in Newton Haven, were in the same year at school; he was my best mate."

 

They had already been roaming around Newton Haven for what seemed like hours, checking out Gary's haunts of back in the day, even his childhood home; with no luck. Tired, Andy stopped at a local shoppe to refill his thermos with coffee. What he had bought with him form London on the drive up was barely tepid. The sweet, strong aroma of the coffee wafted up at him now as he poured some into the accompanying cup. Ahh the sweet nectar of the caffeine gods! he thought to himself. He basically lived off of the stuff most days, especially when work required he put in a lot of extra hours. Taking a sip now, he savored it, triggering a memory of his youth when he and Gary used to smoke weed together and stay up all night drinking coffee....  
The thought trailed off, and another hit him like a shot of tequila, he knew where to find Gary.  
Gunning the engine he sped off...

Pulling up to the bowls club he screeched to a halt and cut the engine. Grabbing his thermos from the seat beside him he clambered out of the car slamming the door behind him.  
With some difficulty, more so than in his teenage days, Andy scaled the fence which seemed higher now for some reason, probably because he wasn't as fit, if you could call it that; as he used to be. It had been years since he played rugby. Memory served him well as he recalled their old entry point to their hangout, an old unlocked door the lock had broken ages ago and no one bothered to repair it.

"Gary! Gary!" Andy burst through the door and into the familiar dark room where they had spent hours in their youth getting stoned and being silly. Chairs and tables were stacked against the walls, a bar at the opposite end of the room was void of alcohol and everything was covered in a layer of dust.  
"Gary!" he called out again, desperation in his voice now.  
Quiet sobs emanated from somewhere in the room, following them Andy breathed a sigh of relief to find Gary who was slumped against the wall under one of the large windows.  
Crossing the room, he knelt down in front of Gary who's sobs were punctuated by shivers from the chill that hung in the air. Grabbing Gary's bag he opened it, pulling out the worn trench coat which was on top. Setting the bag and his thermos aside he went to wrap the coat around Gary's shoulders and immediately the smell hit him, booze mixed with weed. Looking around there was a roach from a recently smoked joint laying on the floor next to Gary's left foot.

"Oh Gary.."  
Gary attempts to push Andy away, but in his state the attempt is weak, just enough force to send Andy back on his arse.  
"Go back to London!" Gary's speech is slurred.  
"How much have you had?" grabbing the bag again he pulls everything out of it now until he pulls out a small bottle of vodka which is half empty. Giving Gary a look of anger mixed with pity he pulls out his mobile phone from his pocket.  
"W...what are you doing?"  
"I'm calling for help."  
"No! no! Don't do That!"  
Andy lowered his phone "You need help Gary." looking at his best mate, yes he was angry but he also felt sorry for him. Sorry the poor sod wouldn't accept help after all these years, after multiple accidental drug overdoses and many, many nights of binge drinking. The thought of a suicide attempt crossed his mind, but he pushed it away, he didn't want to know.  
Setting the phone down he picked up the thermos and opened it pouring some black coffee into the cup before handing it to Gary.  
"Why?"  
"Huh?"  
"Why'd you run off like that?"  
Gary shrugged, his lower lip trembling, eyes wet with tears as he sipped his coffee.  
"I'm tired.."  
"Oh stop with the excuses Gary."  
Sirens could be heard in the distance setting them both on edge  
"When I'm sober, I'm in pain, constant pain...I... I don't know if I can face the world sober...I.. I'm scared Andy."  
"You're sick, you need to let these people help you."  
"Nah."  
"Yes; Gary I'm afraid of what's going to happen to you, that one night or somethink I'm going to get a call that you're dead."  
The anger bubbling up, knowing what he had to do, he picked up his phone, punching in a number. After a few seconds the call connected.  
"I've got him...the bowls club... O.k." Hanging up the phone he stuck it back in his pocket. Gary was scowling at him now.  
"We've already had a few close calls, if you remember, so this is for your own fucking good!"  
They could hear sirens getting closer now as they sat in silence, Andy with a gnawing in the pit of his stomach, sure that he was doing the right thing. Even though Gary would be in safe hands he was still worried about him all the same.  
Gary sat there scowling at Andy, the man who had been his best friend all these years, who he had confided in.....who had just betrayed him.


	5. Chapter 5

Seargant Angel and PC Butterman were the first to arrive, parking behind Andy's car they too hopped the fence, joining Andy and Gary in the darkened room moments later.  
"Andrew." Angel greeted with a curt nod.  
"Sarge, Danny." Andy acknowledged as the tension in the room rose a little.  
" Looks like someone's pretty pissed right now." Danny points to Gary who hasn't moved.  
"Well if it isn't Sargent Noseyarse and cons..constable fanny butterdog." Gary hiccuped loudly.  
"In more ways than one." Angel said observantly "How much has he had to drink?" He asks, turning to Andy who picks up the half empty vodka bottle, throwing it to Angel just as medics and hospital staff enter the space too, making it a little more crowded.   
Angel steps forward, motioning for the paramedics to follow "Ok, Gary I'm going to get you to your feet and you're going to have to come with us."  
The medics move in, grabbing Gary under the arms, Angel with cuffs at the ready.  
"Where are you taking me?"  
The medics hoist Gary to his feet.  
"Somewhere safe, you're obviously a danger to yourself."  
"Nah.."  
"Now I don't want any more trouble from you."  
Gary raises his head in the air, to stare the seargant right in the face, chin held high "I'm not going anywhere with you lot."  
Seargant Angel stepped foward, the toe of Gary's DM making contact with Angel's groin as Gary kicked; making him fall to his knees and into one of the medics who loosened his grip on Gary's arm.   
Gary pulled his arm away forcefully "Get offa me!" he pushed the other medic who stumbled back hitting the post shaking his head in a daze. Danny was busy helping Angel, who Gary could swear was cursing under his breath, to his feet.   
Grabbing his duffell bag Garyh made a break toward the door, grinning to himself, until Andy stepped in front of him; blocking his path.  
"Andy.." Gary whined at him "Don't get in my way mate..."  
"What are you going to do? I'm bigger than you and you haven't forgotten all the times I have tackled you. I am not afraid to do it again, Gary."  
"Oh, fuck off!"  
"Don't tell me to fuck off!" Andy forcefully pushed Gary, the palms of his hands on Gary's chest, sending him further away from the door. "All these people" Andy gestured to everyone occupying the space "They're here to help you, including me; and belive me mate, you need all the help you can get!"  
Rage rose up in Gary, he swings his arm back "I'm sorry Andy.."  
"Sorry for wha.." was all Andy could get out before Gary's fist connected with his nose, sending the heavyset man stumbling backward and into members of the hospital staff before falling on his arse on the floor.   
Attention deflected from him, Gary easily made his way to the door before anyone in the room could notice he was gone....

The bright sun blinded him as he reached the door, throwing it open. Taking his aviators from the front of his shirt he put them on. He felt a lot more sober (although he was in fact still inebriated)  
happy, elated even; now that the cocaine and weed had fully kicked in. For now he would need to find another place to hide and lay low...  
"Shit!" he swore quite loudly, people on the street stopped and turned to look at him. Letting out a moan of frustration he realized that his trenchcoat was back at the smokehouse.   
"Fuck!" he swore again as he stuck his hands into his jeans pockets, feeling nothing in the left and a small baggie in the right that he hoped was the coke.  
Keeping his head down he kept walking through town, past all the little shops, bells on doors jangling as customers came and went. Smells from different restaurants and bakeries wafted out to greet him as he walked up the street. Fresh baked pasteries and donuts, a breakfast fry up, fish and chips. It made his stomach rumble, reminding him of how hungry he actually was.   
Digging in his pockets again, he pulled out a wad of what looked to be papers, almost dropping the baggie of coke on the ground. Hands shaking, he stuck the coke back in his pocket and started pulling apart the papers, pulling out a tenner from amongst them. I wasn't as skint as I thought he smiled to himself as he headed toward the fish n chip shoppe. 

Andy tailed Gary at a distance, watching from his car parked down the street; as Gary left the shoppe, fish and chips bundled neatly in paper. He watched Gary pluck a few fries from the bundle and pop them in his mouth as he headed up the street. Going to the Two Headed Dog no doubt he thought to himself, knowing Gary well. Starting the engine he slowly pulled away from the kerb when Gary was barely visable in front of him so he wouldn't be seen. Surprisingly, Gary didn't go to the pub as Andy thought but instead made a detour left and through the familiar residential streets finally reaching what had been his childhood home. The Beast was parked in the driveway. Andy parked up the street a little ways so he had a view of the garden and watched Gary set the duffell bag down on the ground. Opening it up, he fished around for his keys, a look of frustration on his face replaced with triumph when he found them.  
Unlocking the drivers door Gary threw the duffell bag on the passenger seat and climbed in. A few seconds later he gunned the engine and pulled out of the driveway. There was only one thing Andy could do, keep a promise that he made to Gary and follow him, even if it meant driving all the way back to London.

Roughly just over two hours later....... (Because of Gary- it's 48 min from Letchworth to Crouch End via car.)

Driving on the A1 they were headed back into London. Gary had pulled over some time ago for a piss, which Andy assumed, aside from taking said piss Gary had also snorted more coke. He had recignised it as soon as he had walked into the smokehouse, the dialted pupils, it was almost like Gary was vibrating. Not to mention the faint trace of white powder under his nose which he had only lazily wiped at with the back of his hand.   
Andy had been dealing with....what Andy could only describe as Gary's stupidity for years. The high, the crash and the occasional overdose which meant that he had to get Gary's stupid ass to the hospital so they could pump his stomach. He sighed to himself - he knew it was probably going to be another one of those times. Although Gary was a few car lengths ahead of him, Andy could hear 'Step On' by the Happy Monday's blaring from the car's stereo when he rolled down his window and the faint smell of weed that wafted to greet him. That, he assumed, was Gary as well. He smiled as he recalled a memory of a time when they were teenagers, carefree, smoking weed and drinking every weekend.   
A screech of tyres and the blare of a car horn bought Andrew back to reality. Swerving sharply back into his own lane he waved apologetically at the car that pulled up to pass him only to slam on the breaks as the screech of metal upon metal rang loudly in his ears as he watched The Beast do a 360 degree spin before it slammed up against the centre median.   
"Shit!"  
Andy applies the breaks as he watches The Beast get t-boned by a lorry and flip  
on to it's roof, skidding across the the three lanes of traffic, sparks flying as the car's roof skids along the ashphalt before it finally comes to rest in the far right hand lane. The car now a mass of twisted metal and broken glass which littered the roadway.  
Quickly pulling over to the side of the road Andy hits the button to activate his hazard lights. Panic rose up now, adrenaline began to course through his body making him shaky, he could barely get the seatbelt undone. Looking over at the mangled wreck he could see a pool of blood running out from under the car, this wasn't good.   
With a shaking hand he opened the car door, pusing himself out of the vehicle. Pushing the door closed he looked over at the the beast, a pool of dark red trickling from under it. This was not good....  
Andy sprinted towards the car "Gary!"   
As he got closer he could hear a moan meaning Gary was concious. Stepping over the pool of blood Andy crouched down and called out again "Gary.."   
The sound of crunching glass and "Fuck!" greeted him, followed by a moan of pain.   
Scrambling down on his knees, he inched towards the car.


	6. Chapter 6

He paced the floor, it gave him something to do as he replayed the accident over and over in his mind, each time it was the same...  
Same old stupid Gary Andrew thought to himself, Now look where it got you, ya stupid idiot.. Andy pushed that last thought away, shaking his head. Quickening his pace across the room.  
The door opened and a man dressed in green scrubs spattered with blood entered the room.  
"And you must be Andrew?"  
Andy nodded "Yes."  
"Have a seat."  
Andy sat in the nearest chair, knowing that what was coming wasn't going to be good. His heart fluttered nervously in his chest. The doctor sat in the nearest adjacent chair.  
"Andrew, I am Dr. Gordon, and I am the surgeon that took care of Gary in the O.R."  
"How is he? Is he going to make it?" Andy's voice was shaky, afraid of hearing the answer.  
"Well, we aren't sure, it's really rough right now as his injuries are extensive. Once they got him stable in A&E and got him to me and my team in the operating room we were able to assess his injuries a little better." Dr. Gordon paused to let Andy take it in before continuing. "We were able to stop the internal bleeding and clean the deep wound in his left leg. We closed it up as best we could and if he pulls through, it's going to take extensive therapy to get him on his feet again.  
Andy just nodded, not knowing what to say as the the thought of Gary dying, sadness washed over him, tears came and he tried to hold them back.  
"I'm so sorry, it's so hard to hear all of this,"  
"Can I see him?" Andy blurted out anxiously, worry rising that if he didn't see Gary right that moment he would never see him alive again.  
Dr. Gordon nodded "But first you have to understand the extent of his injuries, it's a bit of a shock when you first see them in a hospital bed, tubes everywhere as is the case with your friend. He has a mild form of hydrocephaly or fluid on the brain due to a spinal chord injury. Our neurosurgeon had to place a shunt in the top of his head to drain the excess fluid or the pressure building up could have caused further damage. As for the spinal chord injury, well we won't know the extent of that until the swelling starts to go down."  
"I see..."  
"He must have gotten jostled 'round pretty good."  
"Yeah, the car ended up on it's roof....can I see him now?"  
Dr. Gordon got up, Andy did the same "I have to warn you, he's unconcious and on very heavy pain meds. Down in A&E they had to insert a tracheotomy tube to help him breathe because of all the swelling."  
Andy could only nod as Dr. Gordon led him out into the hallway, continuing to speak as they walked side by side down the long corridor filled with nurses and doctors. They passed bigger wards, they could hear a tv show and various monitors beeping or patients talking. Stopping at the nurses station, Andy could see the sign I.C.U. part of him wanted to bolt down the hall but he restrained himself.  
"Hi, how can I help you?" a middle aged Jamacian nurse asked with a thick accent.  
"I have a mister..."  
"Knightly" Andy interjected  
"Yes, a Mr. Knightly to see Mr. King."  
"Right this way." She stepped out from the nurses station and led them down the hall, stopping outside of a small little room. "Please wash your hands thoroughly before entering and upon leaving the room, Mr. Knightly."  
"Please, call me Andy." he began to wash his hands, gazing through the glass at the now almost unrecignizeable King.  
Once Andy was washed up, the nurse, who was standing by the door said quietly "Follow me." and led him into the room.  
Andy froze just inside the doorway and didn't hear what the nice Jamacian nurse was saying with her thick accent.  
"Here we are, please keep it down and we ask that for the time being you keep your visits brief."  
Andy just stood there in shocked silence, staring at the motionless figure that lay there, covered in black and blue bruises around an eye and up and down his arms plus probably more that he couldn't see; covered by the hospital gown and sheets or the big gauze bandage that covered the top of Gary's head, wondering how much of his best mate was actually left under all of this.  
A trach tube in his throat connected to a ventilator made Gary's chest heave up and down giving Andy some hope. Various monitor's beeped and blipped as they measured bodily functions, a thin tube Andy recignized from previous stints to the hospita with Gary as a nasogastric tube provided nutrients he needed and leads from his chest monitored heart function which was reflected on a screen.  
He jumped a little when the nurse gently touched his arm. "By the way, my name is Ellen. If you need anything I will be right out there." She could see his hesitation  
"It's ok luv."  
"I..is he in any pain right now?"  
"No luv, we've made sure that he's comfortable with the minimal amount of drugs possible. It's important he rests right now, but he can hear you. Have a seat, talk to him, touch his arm or hold his hand. We encourage it, he knows that someone else is here rooting for him." As she said this, she was guiding Andy to the cushioned chair beside the bed. "Don't give up hope Andy; don't stop believing that he will get better. Remember I'm in the hall if you need me."  
Andy watched her leave the room before turning back to Gary.  
He noticed now how black and blue Gary's arms were because they couldn't find a vein for an IV. Padded leather cuffs bound him at the wrists, the other end attached to the bed as he had been combative on the ambulance ride and when they first got to the hospital Andy had been in the waiting area but could hear Gary screaming. Now motionless he could see Gary also had a busted lip and a cut near his hairline on the left side that had been steri-stripped shut. A central IV line had also been inserted under the collarbone on the left side. 

He looked so fragile....

"What have you done mate?" Andy whispered "You're a bloody mess." Tears stung his eyes and he could feel his heart breaking inside his chest at the thought of loosing his best mate. What Andy thought were now distant memories of happier times came flooding back as he sat in the chair and the tears came.


	7. Chapter 7

The hallway still buzzed with activity as nurses and doctors made their nightly rounds. Outside a thunderstorm raged, beating rain against the windows as thunder shook the building and lightning streaked across the sky.  
Minutes had turned into hours, light into darkness. Inside the hospital room was dark and quiet, except for the beeps of the monitors and the ventilator as Gary's chest still rose and fell. It felt like forever.  
Andy hadn't moved from Gary's bedside, waiting for a sign that he could be O.K. He sat there for hours until finally he'd fallen asleep, exhausted as he was now slumped over the chair which he had moved to the other side of the bed closer to the windw so he could work. His head lay on his arms on the edge of the hospital bed.  
Beside him there was a laptop on the wooden bedside table, closed, it's LED lights blinking. Unable to concentrate at the task at hand, he hadn't accomplished much. Next to it there was a large take away coffee cup and a take styrafoam takeaway container, both empty.

As he crawled on hands and knees over the hard ashphalt and broken glass mixed with blood his eyes falling to Gary who had managed to unbuckle himself from the drivers seat and was slumped still within the wreckage. "Gary!!" Andy screamed panicked, over and over as he tried to reach out and grab the shoulders of Gary's trenchcoat. "Gary! Mate! Say something!" He was still too far inside the car and it was too dangerous, Andy risked cutting himself badly on the glass and twisted metal. Sirens could be heard in the distance now, getting closer. "Gary...."   
Tears blurred his eyes as he kneeled on the ashphalt, streaking down his cheeks and falling on his coat. Overhead, clouds opened up and rain began to fall as if the sky was crying with him. Inside his chest his heart was being ripped into a million pieces knowing that this may be the day that he looses his best friend; his body shaking as he sobbed, the rain soaking through his clothes giving him a chill. 

He didn't hear the ambulance pull up, didn't know the medics where there until he felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice asking if he was ok. He had nodded watching intently as the rescuers pulled Gary's limp body from the wreckage, laying him on a backboard. Mind hazy, before he knew it, he was next to them, adrenaline pumping through him again "Gary!"  
The medics were loading Gary onto a gurney now, ready to go into the waiting ambulance, one arm with an IV in it, hanging limply over the gurney. A moan escaped his lips as they headed toward the ambulance.  
"Gary, say something!"  
Gary's eyes opened slightly now, their hazy blue-grey gaze directed at Andy was a mix of fear and pain.   
Andy could feel his heart breaking all over again, he wished deep down that he could take Gary's pain away, even though he knew that this was all Gary's fault in the first place.   
"Andy....."  
"I'm right here Gary, you're going to be fine, everything is gonig to be fine." Andy lied, the sight and smell of Gary's blood making him sick to his stomach and he so desperately wanted to be sick.

"What have we got?"  
"43 year old male, his name's Gary. Car crash head trauma, possible spinal injury, large laceration to his left leg."  
Andy kept up with them as they wheeled Gary down the hospital hallway and towards the double doors that led to the trauma room.  
Gary looked lifeless on the gurney, struggling to stay concious he stared up blankly at Andy.  
"Gary...." Andy choked out as his eyes once again filled with tears, unable to hide it any more "Say something....."

 

A very loud, low rumble of thunder shook the room and power to the building surges before going out compleatly. The emergency lights kick in, flashing red. Alarms start beeping and buzzing loudly from the various machines.   
"Andy?"   
They headed toward a set of swinging double doors, a doctor stepped in front of Andy.  
"You can't come in here, have a seat in the waiting area and the doctor will come out and speak with you when we have more information.

.............."Andy...."


	8. Chapter 8

“Andy…”

Andy slowly raised his head, rubbing at the back of his neck as a team of nurses and the doctor came rushing into the room. The doctor grabbed Gary’s chart and began scanning it.   
“Well, look who joins us.” The doctor said, looking from the chart to Gary.   
“Gary! Mate! “Andy grinned from ear to ear now.   
“You shouldn’t try and talk any more for now; we have a tube in your throat to help you breathe. We will be able to remove it as soon as we can verify you can breathe fine on your own. “He moved around the room checking vital signs as the nurses checked IV’s and medication levels, making adjustments as needed.  
When they were certain that he wasn’t dying, they finished up and as quickly as they came, they left. 

Out in the hall nurses shouted orders at each other as they moved from room to room; the sound muffled but not completely shut out by the door that had been left ajar.   
“Andy…” his name came in a hoarse whisper tinged with fear.   
“The doctor said to try not to talk, at least not yet.” He smiled, a sign of hope, until he looked down and saw the pain and fear in Gary’s eyes.  
“Andy…I can’t feel my legs, or my left arm…W..what’s wrong with me?”  
“Um…” Andy , caught off guard, is not sure of what or how much he should tell Gary. He thinks it over for a minute. Gary is starting to freak out, flailing his head back and forth. Somehow he successfully pulled out the iv in his arm; he watches the blood run down his arm as he lets his right arm fall back onto the bed. Exhausted, tears left the corners of Gary’s eyes, trailing down his face and onto the pillow.  
Andy could truly see how bad this affected Gary.  
“Whoa, take it easy, alright.” Maybe a quick explanation was the best for now. “The doctor said you have a spinal injury and that is what happens.  
Gary sniffled; Andy could guess his next question so he kept going “They won’t know more until the swelling goes down but most people who have this happen make a full recovery.”  
Gary looked a little relieved, good. No need to tell him everything just yet. “Get some rest now, I’ll be right here.”  
He smiled again as déjà vu hit him bringing his mind back to when they were in their 20’s. Andy had bought Gary to the hospital after he had O.D.’d.   
At this point it was hard to tell how hard recovery will be, it was all an uphill battle from here.


	9. Chapter 9

Andy stopped at the door to Gary's hospital room, mouth agape as he stared at the empty bed and it's rumpled sheets. The table tray pushed back haphazardly, chords hanging off the bed as various monitor's beeped and nurses pushed various buttons to shut them off. The TV also blared loudly from it's point anchored to the wall across from the bed.

One of the nurses looked up at him but without saying a word he turned and angrily walked back to the nurses station.   
"May I help you?" The heavy set woman of African descent spoke in a mixed African / English accent as she stopped typing.  
"What's going on here? I come in to see Gary and he's not there."  
She pulled a chart from a rack, flipping up a page. "Mr. King...." a puzzled look crossed her face, eyebrows frowed in concern "It looks like Mr. King checked himself out this morning. Against medical advice."  
"Aaaggh!" Andy grunted in frustration, smacking a fist against the counter. Anger building up inside of him, he sighed. Now he'd have to find Gary.  
"Thank you." turning around he took his phone out of his pocket and punched in his work number.  
"Beckingham, Davies and Knightley, Felicity speaking, how may I help you?"  
"Felicity, it's Andy. I won't be coming into the office today, something's come up that I have to deal with. Can you please tell Mr. Beckingham and Mr. Davies or any clients that if they need to reach me than they can do so on my mobile phone?"  
"Yes, Mr. Knightley. I will do that for you, is there anything else?"  
"No... oh wait, yes there is. If a man named Gary King comes into the office looking for me, call the police... that'll be all, thank you."   
Andy ends the call and scowls as he presses the button for the lift to head back to the car park.

"Yes luv, I am sorry but I will try and keep you updated if I find him." Andy was in the car park now, walking toward his BMW. "I'll try, but I doubt I will be home for dinner, I'll just pop in to a shop if I get hungry...." he went silent, listening to his wife on the end of the line "You know it's important I find him, before he hurts himself....Ok, I will, love you too." Andy ends the call, unlocking the car will a blip blip. Climbing into the drivers seat he laid his briefcase on the passenger seat, slamming a fist on the steering wheel; the anger still surging inside of him as he started the engine, screeching tires as he pulled out of the parking space.

 

Andy glanced at the in dash clock, it read 10:30 pm. The sun had set, darkness cast over the city as lights in shops flickered on and neon signs and street lamps buzzed to life illuminating the city in an orange glow. Not quite summer, the darkness also bought with it a chill and Andy reached over to turn on the heater. Letting out a yawn, he realized that he was going to need coffee if he was to stay awake as he had a feeling it was going to be a long night. 

Getting back in the car after hitting a cafe and getting a takeaway latte with an extra espresso shot, he leaned in over the seat to put the cup in the cup holder as his phone started ringing in his pocket. Reaching in he fished the phone out, looking at it he didn't recignize the number but answered anyway as he slipped into the drivers seat.  
"Ello?"  
The line was silent for a few seconds, punctuated by a sob.  
"Gary?"  
"...I.......I fucked up, Andy." His voice became choked and quivered with another sob as he struggled to get the words out.  
"Gary, are you O.K.? Jeesus, where are you mate?"  
"Why? so you can come here and yell at me, give me a hard time?"   
He could hear Gary crying quietly into the phone and decided not to press him for answers or explain himself just yet.  
Andy sighed into the phone "Just tell me where you are, mate. I'll come get you..No questions O.K.?"  
Gary sniffles "O.K...." Andy can hear him wiping at the back of his nose with his sleeve. "I'm on the men's room floor...at The Shepherds pub on Archway Road, d'ya know it?"  
Andy thought for a moment "Yeah, North, Highgate right?"  
Sniffle "Yeah."  
"Be there soon mate." Andy ended the call, starting the car he headed north. Using the car's bluetooth feature he calls home to tell Kristen that the search has ended.

Andy enters the pub and looks around "Yes, he's been found mate. I'm picking him up now and will bring him directly. Ok, thank you." Ending the call and putting his phone back in his pocket he notices there's a nice crowd milling about, drinking. Andy shuddered, he hadn't touched the stuff in many years, ever since the accident and he intended to keep it that way, considering he almost died after severing his femoral artery. He recignized a cover of White Lines by Duran Duran playing on the jukebox in the corner and smiled.  
Spotting the signs for the toilets he headed toward them, he didn't want to waste any time.

Entering the mens toilets he looked around but it looked empty. All the stall doors were closed. Catching his reflection in the mirror, Andy realized he looked like hell, his hazel eyes tired from sleep behind his thick dark framed glasses. His once neatly parted hair was now mused somewhat and his shirt wrinkled with a small coffee stain between the second and third buttons from the top. "Shite!" he swore, noticing it  
"Andy? is that you?" a little voice came from somewhere in the room, followed by a sniffle.  
"Gary?" Andy walked over to the middle stall, pusing the heavy wood door open. Gary looked up to face Andy from his position on the closed seat of the toilet, his legs drawn up, arms around his knees; eyes red and puffy from crying.  
"Hey mate...are you...are you drunk?" Andy could smell it, he reeked of booze.  
Gary only nodded, new tears forming now, stinging his eyes, his lower lip quivering looking as if any moment he would burst into tears.   
"Cmon' now, lets get you out of here."  
Andy reached down to help Gary up but instead Gary threw his arms around him, sobbing.  
"It's o.k. mate, it's o.k. I'm right here and everything's gunna be alright."  
After a few more minutes, the sobs subsided and Gary was wiping at his eyes with his knuckles.   
"O.K., c'mon" Andy said, grabbing Gary's hand and helping him up. 'Lets go, yeah?"  
Gary nodded, following Andy out of the gents toilets, through the bar and out into the cool night air. Nostalgia hit Andy now as he breathed in the night air, the music from the pub thudding from the building behind them, mingled with the noise of patrons in the beer garden; he smiles. "Hey Gary."  
"Hmm?"  
"Remember when we lived together for that short time about twenty years ago?"  
This gets a quizzical look from Gary.  
"Yeah, we lived up the street, there, at the top of Shepherds Hill, in a two bedroom terraced house, remember? You had your drum kit in the basement...."  
"Oh yeah!" Gary piped up excitedly.  
"And Steven and the band used to come over, used to drive me nuts with your practicing, but in the end, you weren't half-bad." He looks back at Gary, who is smiling now as they walked to Andy's car which he unlocked. Opening the passenger side door, he helped Gary into the car before going around to the drivers side.   
They were silent as Andy pulled away, the doors automatically locking with a click as they headed down Archway road, away from the pub.   
"Although we did have some good times in that house."  
Gary looked at Andy "Yeah, we did." his eyes half closed, struggling to keep them open as he was exhausted from the drink and crying.   
Andy let the conversation drop and soon Gary was snoring softly beside him. This was good, at least he wouldn't question where they were going.


	10. Chapter 10

Andy parked the car and turned to look at Gary who was just staring out the window at the the brick building that lay to their left, it's top floor contrasted in white. The windows were trimmed in black brick; it's roof trimmed in black; lit up in front by lights pointed at it from the lawn it loomed before them looking ominous to Gary who lay his head against the window sighing softly.  
"Everything ok mate?"   
"Hmm?" Gary turned to look at Andy now "Yeah.." he lied.  
Andy knew better "Don't lie to me Gary."  
Gary hesitated momintarily ".....No"  
"What's wrong mate? C'mon, talk to me."  
Gary had gone really quiet, turned back to the window. Andy watched him a few seconds before asking.  
"You all right?"  
"Andy! you Mother Fucker! You have GOT to be Fucking Kidding me!" he rounded on Andy now. "Why would you bring me to a place like this? I'm NOT going in there!" he snapped defiantly. "It's no good to waste your time doing something like this .. I don't know why you even bother!"  
"Listen to me, Gary!" The tone he used made Gary stop struggling with the door and look at his best mate. " Consider this an intervention; You need HELP! Just look at yourself, mate!..." he trailed off and his voice got quieter now. "And I do it because I'm your mate and I care about you." he sighed "You even said yourself earlier that you fucked up..."  
Gary had gone really quiet, turned back to the window again. Andy watched him a few seconds and noticed that his arm against the window was shaking.   
"Mate?"Andy just sighed again as he watched Gary slowly break down in front of him into an almost uncontrolable fit of sobbing.   
"So, you fucked up!" This caught Gary off guard forcing him to look at Andy "So what? it's not the first time, and surely it won't be the last. Everyone fucks up Gary. This is your chance to redeem yourself, to make it right."  
Gary absently wiped at his nose with the back of his hand as Andy reached for tissues kept in the centre console. Gary took a few when Andy held them out, wiping his nose again as he tried to compose himself.  
"I... I can't do this Andy..." he said more to the window, trying to choke back a sob.  
"Yes you can, Gary."  
'No...I can't! ..." He was sobbing again, his lower lip quivering, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
"That's why I'm here Gary, look at me!"  
The force behind Andy's words made him stop and look at the man that had been and still was his best friend after all these years and after all he had done.  
"I'm right here mate, and I am going in there with you and I will be there the whole time they're checking you in, however long they'll let me stay." he paused.  
"O.K?"  
Gary nodded, wiping at his eyes agian "Boy do I feel like a cunt!"  
Andy had opened his car door and was already climbing out. Gary watched him walk around the front through the windscreen and over to his side as butterflies made themselves at home in his stomach. Suddenly he felt nauseous and vunerable as Andy opened his door and waited for him to get out of the car as he got Gary's suitcase from the back seat.   
Gary got out of the car and took a few steps toward the building and threw up, a combination of the alcohol, drugs and nerves.  
"You O.K.?"  
"Yea...I'm alright.." He wiped at his mouth with the back of his sleeve.  
"C'mon lets get you inside, yeah?"  
Gary pointed a finger at Andy now, a sly grin on his face "That's what she said!"  
Immediately he felt Andy's palm smack the back of his head.  
"Owwww!"  
Gary entered the building first with Andy following closely behind, grinning as Gary rubbed the back of his head.  
The front lobby of the centre was bright, lit by recessed lights in the ceiling. A small grey sofa accented with purple and grey throw cushins with a simple painting hanging above it; a white arm chair and dark espresso coffee table. These accented cream color and white trim walls as well as a dual color laminate floor. The room immedately looked warm and inviting.  
On the far wall there were two doors propped open that led further into the facility. On that same wall, framed out in white and reaching from nearly floor to ceiling; written in beautiful script was the pledge, framed in white:

**Promise**  
If we are painstaiking about this phase of our development  
we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serinity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we wull see how our experience can benifit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.

We will loose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attituide and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realise that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?  
We think not.

They are being fufilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them.

  
A man came through one of the doors, about the same height as Gary; with a five o'clock shadow, dark hair and deep blue eyes. He was smartly dressed in black dress trousers and a purple button down collared shirt. Offering a smile and an outstreached hand "Hello Gentlemen." He addressed them both, shaking Andy's hand. Gary's already eyeing the door.   
"Welcome, I'm Ethan, the founder of Haven Lodge."  
"I'm Andy, we spoke on the phone. I have to say this is a beautiful facility you have here, Ethan."  
"Thank you."  
"One of the things that got me about this place was this." he said, gesturing toward the Promise on the far wall. As soon as I read it, I knew that this would be the right choice."  
"Well I am glad that you've chosen our facility, we're here to make sure that your friend gets the treatment he needs and the best out of his stay here. He turned to Gary now, Andy grabbing the sleeve of Gary's jacked as he had taken a few steps toward the door.  
"And you must be Gary, Welcome to Haven Lodge." He smiled at Gary "We are glad you are able to join us here and will be happy to help you in any way possible with your recovery." They shook hands and Ethan held up a clipboard and pen for Gary. We will need you to fill out and sign some intake paperwork if you would just like to have a seat over there and I will join you in a second."  
Gary's hands shook as he took the clipboard from Ethan and crossed the room to sit on the couch and began filling out the paperwork, nerves mostly. He blinked tgrying to read through eyes blurry from exhaustion. Ethan joined them now, with another clipboard and pen.  
"Tell me, Gary, when's the last time you used?"  
Gary stopped writing and reaching in his pocket, pulled out his new mobile that Andy had gotten him. At the same time something hit the floor, which Andy bent down to pick up.  
"About two hours ago."  
Andy held up what he found now for both to see "What's this, Gary?" it was a long, thin syringe.  
"Oh..yeah..um.." He pointed at it, a grin on his face mischevious like a child that didn't want to be caught.  
"Really, Gary? Heroin?"  
Gary shrugged, rubbing at his face with his left hand, caught off guard he could hear the anger in Andy's voice but didn't know what to say. "Can we just get this over with please?..Or better yet, can we just go?" Lucky for him, Andy dropped the subject due to a glance from Ethan.   
Ethan reached over for Gary's clipboard, looking at it and Gary's chicken scratch writing.  
"Ok Gary, what's your middle name?"  
"James."  
"Good, and I see Andy here is your emergency contact. Any family that know your here or may attempt to contact you?"  
"Nah..."  
"your mum." Andy chimed in.  
"Yeah, but we aren't on the best of terms right now, I'd rather not have her know that I am even here."  
"But Gary, she would be proud of you if she knew you were here; getting help, getting better. And I am sure she is worried about you." Andy put forward with an agreeing nod from Ethan.  
"You've been talking to her, haven't you?"   
"No.." It was Andy's turn to lie, but Gary seen right through it.  
"Yes you have, I know that look..."   
Apparently he couldn't hide the look of guilt on his face. "Ok, so I have...and she IS worried about you. She wishes she could see you."  
"Please don't tell her I'm here." Gary pleaded.  
"Why?"  
Andy shouldn't have even had to ask.  
"Because, if I fuck up again, it's something else for her to hold against me, ya know."  
"But you're not going to fuck up, Gary."  
"Says who?..."  
"Ok, everything looks good." Ethan had flipped to the second page and had scanned it over. "Lets move forward with getting you settled in, shall we?" He stood up now, Andy did the same, the two shaking hands again.  
"Nice meeting you Andy, I assure you, he's in the best care here and he's going to get the help he needs."  
Gary, who was still sitting was making a face.  
"Thank you for taking him in like this on short notice, I appreciate it."  
"I'm right here, ya know."  
The two men ignored him, finishing their conversation before Andy turned to him. "I'll be back on visiting day, yeah? But until then, you know my number and can call if you'd like. Oh and if you need anything, let me know and I'll bring it to you when I visit yeah?"  
Gary nodded, tears in his eyes again as Andrew stood up and started to turn away.  
'Oh, and one more thing, I'm proud of you Gary, and I know you can do this."  
"Thanks, mate." he choked out as Andy turned and walked away.  
He got up, Ethan walking behind him, a gentle guiding hand on the middle of Gary's back they headed inside. Gary looked back as Andy walked out the door...to freedom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking so long to add to this story, after going through some changes in my life, I feel that I am finally able to add to the story and lead it in the right direction.

Gail shut off the engine with a deep sigh; worry bubbled up inside of her as she grabbed her purse and exited the car.Ethan just said that she needed to come to Halstead and that it was urgent. She had agreed and left Newton Haven in a hurry. A bitter wind whipped around her, a definite sign that winter was coming, as she walked toward Haven Lodge. Hitting the buzzer, there were footsteps inside and a tall man opened the door.  
“Hello, Gail?”  
“Yes.”  
“We spoke on the phone, I’m Ethan, nice to meet you.” He held out a hand, she took his in hers for a firm handshake. “Come with me to my office where we will have a bit more privacy.” Gail followed Ethan into the facility and into a corner office on the main floor with a big window overlooking the grounds and field beyond. Once they were both comfortable, Ethan opened a file folder on his desk.  
“Before we get started here, can I get you anything, tea or coffee?”  
“A coffee would be lovely, thank you.”  
Ethan got up and returned a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of coffee, sugar and cream.

Gail sipped her coffee as Ethan sighed “Gail, what do you know about your son’s addictive habits?”  
“Why? What is this about?”  
“Unfortunately, Gary has gone missing.”  
A shocked “Oh” came from Gail’s lips. “Well…ah, I know that he smoked weed regularly, drank heavily and snorted cocaine.“  
“How long have these habits gone on?”  
“The cocaine, I don’t know but the drinking and weed has been since high school. “  
“And you lived in Newton Haven then? How was life at home?”  
“Yes, we have lived in Newton Haven Gary’s whole life, just Gary and I. You see, I was estranged from my husband, Gary’s father, James, for many years. Gary’s father was an addict.”  
Ethan was making notes “James just passed, correct?”  
“Yes.”  
“I am sorry to hear that, also, sorry for your loss.”  
“Thank You.”  
“Continue, please.”  
“His addiction of choice was alcohol. I know he dabbled with other things from time to time. What, exactly, I don’t know. He was in and out of our lives until Gary was almost finished tenth year, or was it part way through eleventh…”  
“Was James abusive towards yourself or Gary?”  
“Yes, very when he was using, which was pretty much all the time. Gary would try and stand up for me when his father started smacking me around or James would get mad at Gary for something stupid and attack him.”  
“Were there times that James was at home that he was sober?”  
“Um, maybe when Gary was still small, I don’t really remember.”  
“Have you ever sought counselling or any sort of therapy before?”  
“Yes, when Gary was a teenager but after doing so many he didn’t want to go anymore.”  
Silence fell between them momentarily, the pen scratched on paper as Ethan made notes.  
“How did Gary do at the funeral?” Ethan inquired “I ask this because I received a phone call from Andrew Knightley.”  
“He seemed O.K., I mean I think it was really starting to hit him that his father was gone. It was at the house, after the service, which he found out from some of James’ sober support group friends that James had sobered up before he died. “  
“To you, how did Gary react when he found out?”  
“He was surprised… what has this got to do with Gary disappearing?”  
“Andrew told me what happened outside, how he confronted Gary after our staff had telephoned him and told him that Gary had left the facility without permission.”  
“It seems I am going to have to speak to Andrew.”  
“Apparently things blew up between them, Andrew got mad with Gary and there was a heated argument. Andrew saying Gary couldn’t be trusted and accused Gary of using again which, according to Gary, wasn’t true. Gary was also accused of using Andrew, pushing his trust. Andrew had enough and told Gary never to talk to him again before getting in his car and driving away. We are hoping you may have an idea of where he could be. Do you know if he has any friends in the area or are there any relatives?”  
“No, not that I know of, sorry.” Gail shook her head, almost on the verge of tears. “So how did he get back here then?”  
“We don’t know. When he showed up late, he didn’t say anything to anyone. After that all we have is footage from the CCTV cameras of him leaving carrying a duffel bag. Unfortunately when a resident wants to leave, they are free to do so.”  
“Well there’s no way he could have gotten far?” Gail asked with a hopeful note in her voice.  
“No, and I hate to say this but unfortunately most addicts who go back out have no intention of staying sober.”


	12. Chapter 12

Anxiousness and worry had settled into the pit of Gail’s stomach now as she drove around Halstead looking for Gary, determined to get him back to the rehab centre… after a good talking to. She had been driving almost an hour now, slowly up and down the streets, scanning sidewalks and benches, craning her neck to see into back alleys, all with no luck. Soon it would be getting dark and the search would have to be called off if they didn’t find him soon.  
That’s when she spotted him, sitting on the beach, clad in his black trench coat, his back to her as he stared out over the ocean. Parking the car she hastily shut off the motor and got out. The bitter wind nipping at her face and ears, the temperature just above freezing, she pulled the collar of her jacket up higher as she began to walk toward him. Taking a few steps onto the beach, the sand sunk beneath her feet as she stopped, just watching him for a moment. The thought crossed her mind of what she would say to him as suddenly she was not really mad that he had run off any more; rather she was glad she had found him. Something has to be troubling him.. She thought to herself as she walked forward again.  
The sounds of the waves crashing on the beach were soothing, helping calm her a little more as she walked up behind him.  
“Gary..” Gail reached out, gently putting a hand on her son’s shoulder. Gary didn’t move or acknowledge her.  
“Are you O.K.?”  
“I just want to be alone right now, Go Away!” he snapped at her, his words drunkenly slurred, there was a good chance he had used as well. At this time she consciously chose to ignore it, being a nurse, and wanted to focus on getting him help. She moved out in front of him now, crouching down so that they were eye to eye with each other. The glassed over eyes told her he had indeed used.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Go away.” He said again, no real force behind the words this time.  
Gary heaved a deep sigh as tears came, trickling down his cheeks, his lower lip quivering.  
“I…I can’t do this anymore!” he sobbed.  
“Can’t do what anymore?”  
“This!……I can’t take it!” he gestured to everything around him “Life!... not like I have anything to show for it. I’m just a washed up addict, a loser; a nobody.”  
“No, Gary, you aren’t a nobody, you’re my son, and I love you, even though you’ve made some mistakes. No one’s perfect.” Gail happens to glance down, reaching for his hands when she seen something shiny glisten in the sand. Blood runs down his hands which are covered and now so are hers. It’s warm on her fingers.  
“Gary, what have you done?!” She dropped his hands her own now covered in his blood as she reached into her pocket for her mobile phone and dials 999.  
Gary could hear her on the phone with the dispatcher, lightheaded as he lay back in the sand, her voice getting farther and farther away as his ears started to ring. His vision, already blurry from tears made the sky and grey clouds above one huge blob. There are sirens, it’s hard to tell how close they are as he can no longer keep his eyes open and everything fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is my take on why, leading up to the conversation in loo in The Cross Hands,why Gary didn't speak to his mum for eight months. 
> 
> Again, I apologize for taking so long to write, it just didn't feel right. I hope that those of you who read it enjoyed it. Please leave a comment or creative criticism. 
> 
> J.D. Steiner


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